Many single women in search for love ask themselves this question at some point.
After experiencing some disappointments, we tend to wonder why this hasn’t happened to us yet. Is it written in the stars that I’m destined to be alone or is it possible that I am doing something wrong that puts me in this position?
The truth, as always, is somewhere in the middle but there are a few things that we need to remember in order to change the path that we’re walking on.
What do I want?
First ask yourself what it is that you want. Sounds simple right?
Of course, you want to get married!
Do you have other desires that somehow clashed with the first one?
But ask yourself a few honest question:
What are the obstacles?
The sages taught us that אֵין דַבָר הַעוֹמֵד בִּפְנֵי הַרַצוֹן which means if your will is strong enough than there is nothing that stands in your way to fulfil what you want. Clearly there are challenges along the way.
What are the obstacles that prevent you from fulfilling what it is that you want?
Am I ready for this task?
Do you understand what it means to be in a serious relationship? To be married? What does it take and why do you want it so much?
It’s important you’ll ask yourself these questions and write down your honest answers for yourself.
Do I act according to what I want?
ֹבַּדֶרֶך שְרוֹצֵה אדַם לִילֵך, מוֹלִיכִין אוֹתו
Along the path a person wishes to proceed, one leads and assists him
The sages used this saying in order to stress how powerful one’s will is.
It’s not enough to declare: I want a serious relationship. Ask yourself if your actions are aligned with your speech and with your mind.
Make sure that your wishes direct you to where you want to be.
Have faith
Finally, believe that there’s a path that you have to go through towards the long-awaited encounter with your soulmate. Believe that every meeting is a step towards that, and the way to know that you are on the right path is when you see progress from how you were a year ago, a month, in the last relationship, when you used to be on a date, comparing to where you are today. Work hard. Good luck.
